Mistakes, guilt and taking responsibility. 


Hi Everyone!!! Another month’s 1st is here, and this post has been a long time coming. As usual, Ewurabena’s contributions will be written in Italics and mine will be in blue😊.

Previously on Faith|Hope|Love

Today’s post will be focused on how we have struggled with and gotten through sexual sin/ sexual immorality. I don’t know how many of you have seen the tag under the ‘FAITH | HOPE | LOVE” column, but it says: ‘An insider into the realities, miracles, shockers, struggles and blessings of a Christ-Centered relationship’. In one of our earlier posts, we spoke about how our relationship started and we referred to it as getting ‘emotionally attached’ – here’s a little more about that.  

So, I’ll start with explaining the kind of mindset Alan and I came into this relationship with. A wise friend once told me: no two relationships are the same. The relationship I would have with Kofi will be a completely different relationship, even though I’m the same person. Following that, the foundations and structures that our relationship is formed on, will differ from the next person’s. The kind of structure that Alan and I set for ourselves, was a relationship that was God-centered and glorified God in every way possible – that called for a standard of all-round purity. At that time, this was a real struggle, mehhn…. To make matters worse, we were on the Berekuso hill – the weather over there is not favourable at all, oo… At all oo, sister! Hmm…

For about a year and a half in our relationship, we struggled with sexual immorality… With our standards of sexual immorality, we’re referring to kissing, fondling or sexual arousal. It was hard. I remember one night after we had fallen, I went to a hill on the Ashesi compound and wept, asking God to strengthen us so it does not happen again. Unfortunately, It didn’t stop. We would have a clean streak for two months and suddenly fall. Then, we will struggle with guilt and the burden of the sin we had committed, for even longer than we had been on the clean streak.  

I don’t remember when, but Alan had this epiphany on guilt that taught me a lot. Here it is:  I learnt it from my father, and It stuck with me till today. He said that the moment I sin against God or myself, I should rush back to Him instantly to ask for forgiveness, so the enemy doesn’t use it to accuse me. Key thing to note, there is healing in admitting wrong and running back to God to forgive – It’s a sign of humility. Guilt is the enemy’s way of wasting our time and keeping us in sloth. (I use sloth to describe not doing what God has directed us to do) When you wallow in guilt, you are telling yourself, “This sin I have committed can’t be forgiven by God and I deserve to suffer for it.” Christ came on earth to do all the suffering on our behalf. Sooo being in a state of guilt and wallowing in it is indirectly signifies your lack of appreciation of the sacrifice Jesus made for us. (Eish, so intense!) This may be quite harsh but when I got this understanding it changed my perspective about a lot of things. So that’s how we dealt with guilt… It is also a way of taking responsibility – identifying and repenting of the part you played in missing the standard. It’s not every day you blame the devil. Lol.

Soon after, we realized that we were tackling our struggles the wrong way. As is normal, we are physically attracted to each other. So, the temptation to act on this attraction is always there. We kept focusing on ways to keep ourselves from doing that and it was frustratingly futile. I can’t pinpoint when the turning point was, but by grace, the struggle though real, has become less of an issue.  Maybe it was our eagerness to fear God, show Him reverence and acknowledge his sovereignty and His ability to keep us pure. What kept dragging us back was how we focused on how NOT to fall or make a mistake.  

One thing is for certain – focusing on the wrong things will definitely lead to hopelessness because it is in our human nature to not be able to live up to the standard God has for us. But trusting God, staying focus on God is the way to go… because well, He will show you the way to go. Lol- good one, honey.

After this learning curve in our lives, we realized that God has equipped us with so much to tackle all weaknesses, (including temptation of sexual sin / struggles) We realized our situation was never going to change unless we allow the Holy Spirit to walk in and through us. I remember the night I had an encounter with the Holy Spirit. It gave me the opportunity to let Him be Him and grant us wisdom to flee. Wisdom! That’s one thing we usually take for granted. Some situations are needless and we can steer clear of them in wisdom. Another thing we’ve also used to our advantage is God’s grace. His grace empowers us to be strong when our bodies are weak. Life is an endless struggle between the spirit and the flesh – but yielding your Spirit to God is strengthening your inner man and disarming your flesh.  

Knowing that this is the path we have chosen, it is our responsibility to trust God in staying on the straight and narrow way.  We made a promise to God to stay pure till we get married. Not to say that it has been easy but God has been our strength and our fortress and we are grateful. yasssssss🔥🔥🔥 

We realize this post only skims the surface, and we may not have had an extensive experience – please feel free to contribute in the form of questions AND additional comments. Yes, that will be great – and we appreciate your feedback too.

See you soon… same time, next month!!!🤗🤗🤗


Up Next on Faith|Hope|Love

37 thoughts on “Mistakes, guilt and taking responsibility. 

  1. Nice one Rabbie and Alan! Personally I admire the two of you and you still let me know that people can be in a relationship and still have respect for each other. I heard this very same thing from John Bevere. Most of the times we want to walk in holiness by our own wisdom and power. But the outcome will always be failure. We can only trust the Holy Spirit to keep us. That is his work and he can do it perfectly. We just have to lean on him and give him our all.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I have!! but I felt like that was the frustration talking to me- lol… what I decided on was that our relationship was bigger than that weakness we were struggling with… if we didn’t learn how to control ourselves and heed the Holy Spirit now, when would we? Also, I knew other people who were in pure relationships…that showed me it was possible. So I chose to stay instead of running away.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Hi my brother. Oh yes. There had been point where I for one wanted to walk way from the relationship because I didn’t want to sin against God. My heart is for the Kingdom of God and the things of it and I usually make choices in this regard. However when I came to my senses I noticed being in a relationship involves the ups and downs. We can’t run away from things ordained by God because it’s not matching how we perceived it. Imagine if I had walked away from the relationship because I was not living up to purity standards when we were in that position, we will not be here sharing our story with the world.
      Every flaw enabled by God in our lives is an indication that we have our one step closer to perfection in Him once we accept it and work towards overcoming this flaw with Him. It gives us the opportunity to trust in God and the Holy spirit even more. I can proudly boast that my ministry will not be where it is today without Ewurabena being in my life. She has been more than a helper and I appreciate her support. God sent her into my life. And this relationship brews with love because we make mistakes together, work at them together and trust in God together. Hope this answers your question.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. You guys are amazing chale.😉
    Absolutely love this. Thank you for your honesty and your desire to help others.
    You inspire me 😊
    God bless you!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I’m so grateful for the honesty, really! But sometimes you have to walk away when the two of you don’t see things the same way. God bless you and keep you two.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you guys so much for sharing this experience. A lot of Christian youth are struggling with this especially, those who want to seek a relationship founded on Christ. Sooooo glad you guys are doing this. God bless you and hope I’ll be invited to the wedding? 🙈😉👏👏

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Thank you so much for this. My boyfriend and I have been going through similar struggles. This is an encouragement to us. Thank you!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. God bless you guys….. this is very inspiring and I love ur honesty and courage….. I believe many people need to hear this word in order to keep ow that purity is possible cos many children of God in church are going through the falling and rising process when it comes to relactions hips and it’s sad when they don’t know ow who to confide in or how to escape because of fear and lack of wisdom …..God bless ur ministry and I believe God will use this to reach out and deliver many under that thought and bondage…..God bless u all. ……..

    Liked by 2 people

  7. So many truths in here. It takes a great deal of courage and sincerity to open up the way you both have. Really proud of you. God bless you for being an inspiration.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m blessed. I have faced it too several times and now I know I’ll be there soonest. Plus I admire you guys and your courage in the Lord. Keep it up. Like you said, keep your eyes on the real prize- Jesus. Looking forward to more inspiration and I know that He will make all things beautiful in His own time.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Read all your posts today. I’m amazed that your journey is very similar to mine starting right from day one! It is encouraging to know that there are young Christians out there with this mentality on relationships. It was getting hard to find who to talk to but thank God that you decided to blog about it. Thank you for sharing. This is timely for me. God bless you both! I will keep you in my prayers

    PS. Ewurabena, I used to think Barry was stuck up too in high school 🙈

    Liked by 1 person

    1. God bless you too! we appreciate this a lot 🤗… your PS message made me laugh out loud!!😂🤣😂 but he’s not AT ALL- it was probably in our heads the whole time😂 🤔🤷🏾‍♀️


  10. I can’t possibly find a word for you guys!!!! My bestfriend and I are praying about our relationship too…..i’ve so much on my mind but you guys have miraculously answered some of my many questions…
    God is indeed wonderful!!!I know we can do this….Barry and Rabby did it!❤❤God bless you and please pray with us

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Wow!! I’ve been blessed just reading your posts and I must say I find myself in the same situation you both did. My only prayer is that things would work out for me just like it did for the both of you. God bless you from being a blessing and for sharing your story.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. This blessed me so much! Thanks so much for sharing!! ❤️ And I hope y’all do a post of how y’all met ahh🤗😄
    Love & Blessings,

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Woow thank you so much guys☺️. I’ve really been blessed by your openness to share with us through this blog. God bless you 🙏🏾


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