sometimes, you think you are alone… but that’s not always the case.
I can’t sleep anymore
I can’t think straight anymore
My emotions are a wreck and
I’ve been in this bathroom
for what feels like hours.
On the floor.
Reeling from the sponge’s sting.
Trying to drown out the pain.
Wash off the blood.
To not feel dirty.
You did this to me, you know?
You made me this pitiful wretch here
And you stand there smiling happy, living as if last night never happened,
Or never mattered.
So. Much. Blood.
I underestimated how much I would feel,
And I misunderstood how hard it was to forget,
I still feel pain. It’s raw and harsh, and you just kept thrusting… almost excited, almost, satisfied…Relieved!
And what I had, what was within me… you broke.
And I bled the pain.
But that’s not all there is to me,
There’s more to my life than you – than this
And even though all that’s left is heavily wrapped in dirt, pain and tears,
I’ll stay a few more hours in this bathtub